Re. Love, Self-Care and Selfishness

Juni2012A 006MOP

Now many years ago I attended a youth group meeting of a church. For some reason we had a discussion about getting married and the married life. We were talking about advantages of being married.

I cannot recall what the others said, but I do remember what my own contribution was. I said: “When I am married, I have something to eat.”

Actually I did not mean this to be a deep theological or spiritual insight. Neither was my intention to proclaim this as a supreme aspect of having a partner. To be honest, however, I thought, the idea was practical enough.

Meanwhile more than twenty years have gone by. I am still an unmarried single. I am living on my own and have to care for my own food and catering.

Today I am moving on to the second phrase of verse 5 in 1 Corinthians 13: Love “seeketh not her own.” (KJV). Now I am thinking about what this would mean and what it probably would not mean.

Is it wrong for me to take care that I get something to eat every day? In fact when I myself don’t care, most of the time, no one else will.

Admittedly, eating is primarily for my own benefit. On the other hand – in most cases – I don’t believe it would be a genuine token of Christian love, if I were starving myself to death.

In fact I might come up with some “highly spiritual” point of view, saying lack of food may mean I don’t have enough strength to give a helping hand to others when needed. It seems quite realistic that I would be more able to give to others what they need, if at least some of my own basic needs already have been met.

But what if I were married and my only interest in my partner were that she should invariably cook some timely and tasty meals for me? I might say: Your language of love is cooking, mine is eating! As I eat the food you are cooking for me, I really appreciate what you are doing for me. I can taste and feel how fortunate I am to have you.

Certainly, holding in high esteem what others do for me is an aspect of Christian love. This is a way of attaching value to somebody.

Nevertheless you cannot build a relationship merely on cooking and eating. A husband only concerned about the food he gets from his wife probably is kind of selfish. Rather than taking a wife such a person might just as well hire a cook!

This is meant as an introduction to my discussion of love, self-care and selfishness. This is my first post on the second part of verse 5. I do not know how many posts are going to follow.

I have written ten posts on the words: Love is not rude. These were posts referring to manners and behaviour. The blog-posts to come are going to deal with inner drives. Selfishness is a matter of our motives.

Is it wise to talk that much about food as I have done today? I think at least it is an illustration everybody can relate to.

Enten u. Tauben 21.04.15 095TTT2



About christenfindenruhe

Auf meinem deutschen Blog möchte ich kurze Texte über Matthäus 11 Verse 28 bis 30 veröffentlichen und die frohe Botschaft von Jesus Christus anschaulich machen. Es lohnt sich, Jesus Christus zu vertrauen. On my new English blog "Motivation of Christian Love" I am sharing my thoughts on 1 Corinthians 13 and other biblical texts.
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